Body, Remember: A Memoir (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiographies) Review
Fries, Kenny, "Body, Remember: A Memoir", University of Wisconsin Press, 1997, 2003.
A Moving Memoir
Amos Lassen and Literary Pride
Kenny Fries in "Body, Remember" has written a memoir that moves one to tears As we embark on a journey from sympathy to admiration, we read a book without a false note in it. When Fries wrote his memoir he was 36 years old and a noted poet, an essayist, and a critic. He writes what it is like to be disabled--he was born with two malformed legs as a result of a congenital birth defect and he endured many operations to correct. There is no "pity me" in his memoir--he uses honesty and even allows those he is or has been at odds with to maintain their dignity. With extreme patience Fries looks back on his life and explores family documents, medical records and memory (his own and his parents') to try to understand how he got to be where he is. He discovers that the details of his early life were unspoken but he was able to map out his sexual identity and sexual desire. As he comes to terms with himself, he also writes about what it is like to be different.
Fries is a man very concerned with identity.
Being gay and Jewish help him form a self image and as a person with a defect, he uses his memoir to help discover who he is. It is his disability that rules his life and it cannot be ignored as the most important facet of his life--in fact, it claims most of his attention. He has a complex self image, especially regarding his gayness by which his disability is not a part. He explores where he stands in terms of his religion concerning his homosexuality. These three personas--disabled, gay, and Jewish are the issues that concern him most and he reaches no conclusion--at least none that I could see. He seems to be able to balance the three. This lack of perspective is the only fault I can find with otherwise a beautifully written memoir.
The beauty of the writing is the way that Fries interweaves memories and fragments from his life. It is almost hard to read when he writes of his brother who abused him both sexually and physically. Likewise his meetings with men in Israel and his ill-fated relationships with two other men are sad and heart-rending. He finally, after the publication of his poetry and years of psychotherapy, manages to achieve happiness with another man, Kevin, with whom he is still partnered.
Fries wars scars on his body and on his mind and his self awareness of his physical deformity is examined in great detail. The book is deeply personal and is not a history but a memoir. He takes us on a journey from the shallow end of life where he could barely use his own legs to where he is able to achieve a rich and happy life.
As I read, I thought how lucky I was that I only had to endure two of Fries problems--being Jewish and being gay. I can't imagine how much a physical disability can even make life that much harder.
Body, Remember: A Memoir (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiographies) Overview
In this poetic, introspective memoir, Kenny Fries illustrates his intersecting identities as gay, Jewish, and disabled. While learning about the history of his body through medical records and his physical scars, Fries discovers just how deeply the memories and psychic scars run. As he reflects on his relationships with his family, his compassionate doctor, the brother who resented his disability, and the men who taught him to love, he confronts the challenges of his life. Body, Remember is a story about connection, a redemptive and passionate testimony to one man's search for the sources of identity and difference.
Body, Remember: A Memoir (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiographies) Specifications
Kenny Fries, noted poet, critic, and essayist, has produced a moving and memorable memoir of what it is like to live with a body you are told is less than perfect. Fries was born with incompletely formed legs, a congenital birth defect that had no scientific name but entailed multiple surgeries just to partially correct. In Body, Remember, Fries, with patience and forbearance, travels back through his life--examining medical records, family papers, his own and his parents' memories--to uncover how he became who he is today. Fries's search is, in part, a mystery not simply because he uncovers many details of his early life unspoken within the family, but through its charting of the discovery of his sexual desire and identity. While much of Fries's memoir is a beautifully written elucidation of what it means to be "different," its fire and heart comes from its author's growing sense of self and dignity as he examines and learns to understand the scars on his psyche as well as on his body. --Michael Bronski
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